Fear. It's been a larger part of my life than I'd like to admit. Since I've moved to California, quite frankly, I've been beating it's ass. Two major moments of clarity oddly enough have happened on my friends' sailboat (read other epiphany here). Also oddly enough that first picture I will title, "Bird Shit Rock" is a perfect metaphor for the strategy I've found works best for rising above fear and enjoying your life: It's all in how you look at it.
We went for a "sail around the marina" for Jonathan's birthday. The boats in the marina float on calm waters. Lots of charming sites too: beautiful yachts, goofy house boats, screaming seals, leather faced orange boat-living people. It's thoroughly entertaining, and completely manageable anxiety wise. It was chilly that night, but we had pizza and champagne and warm coats to cuddle up in. Before I knew it we were very close to exiting the serenity of the marina and entering the motherfacking Pacific Ocean. The panic kicked in.
This wasn't the plan! Uhhhh Cap'n, it's lookin pretty choppy out there! I'm gonna get sea sick! I'm on a boat.... I'm trapped on this boat. The water is too cold to swim back! We're all gonna die. I don't know how, but we are...going.....to DIE!
Right before I peed my pants I noticed the exit of the marina is lined with a rock wall where hundreds of birds sit to sip in the sunset. While enjoying the view, they like to poop. Ya know, like birds do. The white mess has completely Jackson Pollocked this massive pile of rocks....and it's kinda beautiful. You get what I'm saying? The doo doo is beautiful if you forget it's doo doo for a second. I forgot we were floating out to sea and frantically started snapping away with my camera and when I looked up we were rocking on the open Pacific.
Woe. I'm not scared. It is breathtaking. This looks like a vintage OP tee shirt. My friends are awesome. I'm drinking champagne. On a boat. Happy birthday babe. I laughed out loud.
The idea that I probably wouldn't have gone on the sail if I knew we were going out to the ocean because I was "anxious about it" is ASININE. GAH! I'm a whiney baby sometimes! So many otherwise amazing moments in my life have been obscured in my mind by my anxiety. But the fix is to just look at the moments differently. Live in the now as much as humanly possible. And when you do get scared, let yourself go there for a moment and snap back to reality.
The beauty of a sunset (or a rock covered in bird excrement) will always be there to remind you that it's worth paying attention to the world outside of you as opposed to obsessing over thoughts or fears fabricated in your mind.
Do YOU have a bird shit rock? Something that should've been ugly that turned into a beautiful experience?
And for your listening pleasure, A SONG to match this post.